Awake

Without you, i am living like, i am dying,
with every breath i take, i breathe death and exhale my soul.
I dont have you by my side, my hands don't have a head to rest now,
I am free to live in a suffocated room of dying memories
A dark room, where my tears are the oil to the lamp of my burning heart.

I stiill go to the holy place, i used to visit with you,
for wishing, only to be with you,
Now I go , to wish a visit with the death,
because the pond next to the holy place,/
where you used to pour the holy water of the pond
on my head with your beautiful hands,
Now I dont have that hand, and that water would never touch my
head again, I guess.

So may be its my time to say good bye to myself
Cause its been a long day and a forever long night for me
but i still have not been able to catch on sleep
I have forgot, what sleeping used to be like.
Its has been months, when i would have wake up to the morn/
because for waking up, it demands to sleep

Everything has started to fade away, my dreams, my smile, my tears, my breath
I dont knw, if i am can still find the reset button to all this or not,
But somewhere i know, even if i get that,
i wont be able to hit it, because then,
i might have to start all over again
i dont know if i would be able to start or not,
but i guess, it would end again, but maybe not like this,/
I would like to staay and witness that,
but i have been awake for quite a long time,
and my eyes filled with tears,scarrying a burden of sweat on the lids and
gravitational force of the earth also failed to bring my eyelids down,
and my eyes have started dying too.

I would like to write more, express more,/
but now suddenly i have started to feel,
my brain has become light wight and
my eyelids have gained some weight,
I guess the overdose of sleeping pills are working
The box of pills said right, it works when we don't
SO NOW i am goin...like,.... iiiiiiii    dnt know      where......
i will seE If I caNM comEw Back.

Sach toh sach hai

dheeme bolo ya bolo chahe zor se
sach toh sach hai
kadvi ho ya ho meethi
sach toh sach hai

jameen pe bolo ya dohrao aasman me
sach toh sach hai..
tera nahi mera nahi..
sach toh sach hai

likh k bolo ya chahe bolo gaa gaa ke..
sach toh sach hai..
sochne ki baat hai
sach toh sach hai..

smjho ya na samjho
apni suno ya dusre ki
khud ki karo ya karo dusre ki kahi
sach toh sach hai..

main bolu, tum bolo
main ladu, tum lado
bolu chahe na bolu
suno chahe na suno

jhooto ki duniya mein aj bhi woh zinda hai..
kyunki sach toh sach hai..
sach ki toh sirf ek hi baat hai
ke sach toh sach hai..

woh marta bhi toh kaise, rota bhi toh kyun
kehne ki jo baat hai,
uska yeh ek sach hai
uska sach toh sach hai.

kehna mera bhi galat ho sakta hai,
main bhi jhoota ho sakta hoon,
yeh jo sach ka naam main jap rha hoon
yeh bhi galat ho sakta hai..

phir bhi ek amar sach hai.
ki sach toh sach hai.

Reminder

Nrityansh and Geetanshi have been together, and all these time were good and there was a togetherness, when their ship of love got hit by iceberg of worldly measures.
A piece of conversation from that evening.
Nrityansh: I love you Geetanshi.
Geetanshi: Hmmm.... I am alright.
Nrityansh once again said : I love you Geetanshi.
Geetanshi kept her silence, didn't replied to him.
Nrityansh: I know you love me, but you won't say it. You might not be feeling well at this point of time, while you are taking a deep dive into your own thoughts. And don't worry I am not expecting a reply from you. "I love you Geetanshi" these words are not for you, they are for me. With all the troubles going around, i keep reminding myself, that I love you. My heart may feel low, when you don't reply saying "I love you Nrityansh", but thats alright. Everytime i speak my heart, i keep reminding myself, that I love you and I should not forget that I am fighting for us, and not just for you or myself.
I am going to say this a million times and even more, till the time death do us apart. But I just want you to remind yourself that you love me, because that would give you the strength to fight for us. That works for us. It have been and it will be always. I love you Geetanshi.

A letter to her father.

Hello Sir,

I hope you are fine, after all the stress you went through, which was never there in my to do list. I never wanted to hurt anybody in your family, by loving your daughter. Your daughter, what shall I say about her, you already know her for such a long time. But what I am going to say today, is about your daughter and me, together, because you didn't get to know us, and perhaps you don't even want to know about us.

But this is my attempt to save, all what I have got. I have known your daughter for a long time. We have been in a realtionship and invested a lot in this relationship to understand each other better than ourselves. We discuss our differences to maintain a balance relationship. I have always made sure, to stand with your daughter in all her good and bad times. I respect my mother a lot, cause my father always taught me to respect women. I have made sure that I follow those teachings dedicatedly. But there is something more important than this relationship between your daughter and me, that is our FRIENDSHIP. The strong and inseparable pillars of this relation between both of us.

I know you were always aware of the fact that I am one special friend of your daughter, because she would always bring my name into any discussion she had with you. She would always try to tell you that I am his more than a special friends. But I belive you couldn't read between the lines, or perhaps you avoided reading them.

I am from a different religious background, than yours. But being born in respective religions, is not a mistake either on my part or your daughters part. As soon as a baby is born, he is differentiated into religion, caste, class from one identity he carried with himself while arriving into this world, HUMAN. I would like you to know, that though i am born in different religion, i respect all the religions equally, i bow my head with equal devotion infornt of all the religious places. But just because I fell in love with your daughter, and want her to be with me, i went little ahead than my comfort zone, I have started reading the holy book of your religion. I pray to your master everyday to keep you all happy and give me strength to confront you all one day.

Now, having said that I would just like to add few more things to the list, which would be probably more important for you than these religious differences and all the other secondary parameters.
I love your daughter and I want to grow old with her. I want to spend my every single breath i breathe, onto her happiness. I want her to live a life of elegance, pride. I want her to live her life to the fullest. I want all of her dreams to come true. I WANT TO LOVE HER AND PROTECT HER TO AN EXTENT WHERE YOU WON'T EVER HAVE TO WORRY. I am sure you don't like to see her cry. I get tensed too when her tears fall. I can't see her hurt just like you can't. I know a father is a daughter's first love. I will always come second to you, and i am not jealous of the fact. But just in this healthy competition of being her first love, i have found her and mine happiness.

So, today i am writing this letter to you, to be your friend. Make me your friend, so you can help me out sometimes in keeping your daughter happy. I have this faith, once we would start knowing each other, we would be best of friends. My father is my best friend, and if we both also become good friends, i would be lucky enough to have the friendship of two fathers in one lifetime.

This is my attempt to be friends with you and your family. Give me one chance and i will prove to you that i will never be a heart ache.


Would be looking forward for your reply.

Regards,
Nrityansh

WAQT KI AJAB PAHELI

Waqt ki yeh ajab paheli hai..
Dheeme dheeme bit rha hai...
Par har pal mein, ek muddat le jata hai...
Itna sa kusoor hua mujhse...
Ispe bharosa kiya badhke khudse..

Laakar yeh aj bhi whi khada kardeta hai...
jha se chala tha kabhi mein ise apna banake..
Waqt mera hai, kehta rha main..
Par jor ispe na chala saka main.

Waqt ne apna hi rutba dikhaya hai..
mujhe rulane ko, tohfa gam ka diya hai...
Aur phir dheeme dheeme bit rha hai...
Is baar khushi ki taraf jata dikha hai..

Ek yeh umeed bhi waqt ka meet hai...
Yeh sang mere yha baitha hai...
Rulayi mein aansoo ponchta hai mere
Kehta hai jab waqt milega khusi se meri...
Toh le jayega mujhe, woh agle mod pe.

Tab tak waqt dheeme dheeme bit rha hai...
Har pal main , ek muddat le ja rha hai.

MISTAKES

so what people I have made mistakes.
I do them often, n have wrong takes
I have earned some n lost some too.
I've got some frnds n made foes too
Cuz I've got lot of things to do.

Did mistakes and had another rise
Because a Bee can't make a hive
Everytime it had tried,
Some stars may fell off the sky,
But the others still have to shine.

Times ago he bought somes stakes
But the prices didn't rise
He worked hard from morn to eve
And strived to survive
With his head held upto the sky

Life didn't come with a manual book
Though people may give u a rude look
Keep doing ur thing and overlook

One fine day when u r done with mistakes
Experience is wat u earn n ur own space
Which u made By doing sme mistakes
And evrything will fall right in to the place

Life is not a freeway
N Hurdles might engulf ur way
Nod to their advices and in the end
Move on n Do wat u had to do anyway

THE 90's life

I miss 90's life, the time things were neither very fast forward, and not very slow, like the slow motion dance. Things were at their right pace, as i belive, people never rushed for things. The era, where after school when we reached home, the first thing we used to do was complete our school homework, so that we won't have to miss out on the evening shows telecasted on the television like The Small Wonder, Teletubbies, Scooby Doo, Popeye, Power puff girls. Waking up in the morning, going to school and then waiting for the 7 long periods to get the games period, so we can be the fearless players and imitate our favourite basketball or cricket player, and then plan to meet in the evening with gang friends and rule the local park with badminton sticks and have long conversation over the girl with the two ponies and beautiful smile because we were smart and she was cute. Unlike today where kids now come from school to open up their facebook account and dont watch cartoons, rather they find out thing about everything by liking their pages. They dont have to be tensed about missing out the episodes of their favourite show the last day, because they have subscribed to youtube channel of their and so they dont say ever to their parents, "I won't have dinner tonight, because i missed the show." School are no longer a place where kids use to wait for the games period. Play grounds are empty, no one is there to fight for which class would first have their basketball game, cause there are less people to play from both the ends. Rather online poker and pool player are very active online, wait a second, this kid is in school at 1 in the afternoon and he is playing pool online, howcome, oh, i forgot it's not the 90's, kids dont fear taking there costliest phone to school even if they may not carry their notebooks, because they have lots of things to do, whatsapp status updates like "Miss fernander class.... BORRRINNG" and they would suddenly get a ping from a cute class mate on their BBM to add them. And few weeks later their would be an update on the facebook profile of this boy about being in a realtionship with that cute classmate, perhaps i forgot to mention a complicated relationship update, because the girl didn't like the profile picture of this guy, and this guy is tensed over this and may have had fights, and wait a second what i see no 15 minutes later , an update , this guy is over with the relationship. So this is not 90's for sure, where a ping was asking for stationery or notebooks from the cute classmate, love was not expressed through putting an update on facebook, rather relation was made when cute classmate would help in studying for exams. Proposals were not a request but and expression which was conveyed by our best friend and then the thing would evolve.

This is not 90's for sure, things are not moving at the right pace, rather at a very high pace. People have turned impatient, quick and instant desire of everything is surrounding everyone. We are at a pace, where we like our food in our stomach withing a minute, so we don't cut, boil. fry our food, rather we would order Mcdonals or dominos, and in that mean time our order arrives, we would probably be chatting upon a pack of Lays and Diet coke, because dieting is the trend, otherwise you may die eating, and if there is still a minute delay in your order to arrive at your table, you have got the time to Check In on your profile, " -at Mc Donalds with "a person with i whom i haven't even talked about his or her life but i am tagging, because i am in a free wifi zone"   - Feeling Superb,

Not so 90's thing. Thing were great when mom would cook food and friends would have endless discussion and untidy the room, so after they will be back home, I would be cleaning up my room and feeling blessed to have these moments.

Things may have changed a lot now, things are now not so 90's style. I have to be at pace with the changing world around me, cause change is the only constant in this world, But I miss 90's life with the music and parties on big juke boxes and walkmans and not on ipod, pop songs on radio and not on soundcloud, shows on television and not on youtube, realtionship in real life and not on facebook. I miss 90's life.